Ultimate Relationship Test? Dogs.

I was a firm believer that contestants in dating shows like The Bachelor should actually build an IKEA cabinet together. Before the proposal, in their evening wear, pick up the allen key and get building.

It’s a good challenge in communication and teamwork – 40 pieces, 10 steps, and you always have parts left over that leave you wondering “…did we need these?...”

But now that I work with dogs and their people, I’m thinking these contestants need to teach a dog something new.

Is he rammy and forceful? Is she a total pushover?

Where’s her patience threshold and does he just want to be “the fun dad”?

Being a mediator was one thing I wasn’t expecting when going public with my abilities.  Luckily my Virgoan ways of being a natural advisor with an ability to be emotionally detached (thanks, Aquarius rising!), helping couples see each others side of things comes easily to me.

Sometimes all I need to do is re-word what she’s saying for it to land in his ears – doesn’t mean the relationship is flawed it just proves why counsellors exist.  Sometimes we need to hear things, the same things, from another person whom we don’t have any emotional history with.

I’d say the biggest conflict I deal with is one person feels the other isn’t pulling their own weight with dog rearing.  It creates an even bigger divide if the person in the relationship dealing with the dog didn’t want the dog in the first place.

Another is his and hers dogs. Let me be the one to tell you that doesn’t work if you want your “partners dog” to give you any mind.

Usually, my clients want to have the same respect as their partner does when it comes to the dog.  When I hear about the troubles my clients are having and she says, “but he’ll listen to my husband!” my job just got a lot easier.

That tells me their dog is capable, it’s just that human needs to learn another way of communicating.

We need to acknowledge men and women project different energies.  Typically, the men are matter of fact and the women tend to be more emotional.

Now what’s super interesting about energy is it’s not gender specific - some men need to be advised to have a more feminine, gentler, energy towards their dog and some women need to be advised to channel a more masculine energy.  We all have both energies flowing inside of us it’s just what we choose to use depends on the situation we’re in.

Getting clear about what each of you want when it comes to your dog’s behaviour is an important conversation to have.

If you are someone who wants more respect out of the dog whom you share your home with, you’ll have to be the one to set that boundary – not your partner.

Why? Because it’s your responsibility to teach the dog (and the world) your expectations, nobody else’s.